Feb 6, 2016

@Hank ... missed you man .. you funny f--- ya

Whilst deep throating, he pissed a little ... drunk but wtf ... isn't it difficult to piss while hard?

 

Feb 7, 2016

I came after getting head last night and when she tried getting on i couldn't get hard for a second go round, so now im upset i didn't actually get any and that was my whole plan this week........

 

Feb 7, 2016

I know you're trolling, but I think this would be cute

 

Feb 7, 2016

I told this story in another awkward thread but it's a pretty great awkward story. I was 19 or 20 and home from college break. I waited tables at a chain restaurant in Jersey and would pick up shifts during my break. When I got back from winter break, which is about a month, I noticed a cute little spanish girl was working there. So I started flirting with her and would pick up shifts and get the person who made shifts to get her to close with me. She didn't have a license so I offered to drive her home all the time. So this went on for a few weeks and finally it was my last shift before going back to school. I could tell she was feeling me but I was a little p----. So I decided since it would be the last time I drove her home I'd make my move. I pull up in front of her house and we say bye and we'll stay in touch blah blah....so this is my chance to go for a kiss. As I'm going in for the kiss I b---- out and try to turn it into a hug. The awkward motion change of my body makes the seat belt catch. From this unforeseen tension my arm jerks and my hand lands straight on her breast. I'm not sure how long it stayed there but it felt like I looked at where my hand was and her face at least 5 times in slow motion to make sure it was real life. We actually wound up going out for awhile.

Moral of the story: always go for the tittys

 

Feb 7, 2016

Yeah, it's pretty f---ing impossible unless you really try.

Maybe he was just testing to see if you were into water sports?

 

Feb 7, 2016

It would've been cute if it was a little squeak, but this b---- sounded like a tuba holding a note for at least 5 seconds.

 

Feb 7, 2016

I had my Chromebook in my lap, and my gf was here..and she had her dim witted friends here...and I had my headphones in...then all of a sudden I let out a huge fart; forgetting they were sitting across from me.

 

Feb 7, 2016

I missed you too

 

Feb 7, 2016

I once didnt give this girl who was giving me head a warning call to let her know that I was about to c-m.
she just swallowed that s--- and I felt like a savage

 

Feb 7, 2016

Yeah I've done this a lot. I just kinda mumble I'm gonna c-m hoping she doesn't know what I'm saying.

 

Aug 25, 2016

About ten seconds into eating a girlfriend out she farted in my face and I said "gotta blast (!)".

 

Aug 25, 2016

One of my girlfriends post relationship became really depressed and literally turned goth and now she's super into freaky BDSM, dodged a bullet there lmao

 

Aug 25, 2016

Oh my god I've always dreaded this.

 

Aug 25, 2016

My lame a--- doesn't know what BDSM is and I ain't about to f--- up my browser history over being curious lmao, so what's that bro?

 

Aug 25, 2016

That b---- was gassy, every time I think about her I cringe.

 

Aug 25, 2016

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

 

Aug 25, 2016

Oh that b---- wild lmaooo, aye @BuffaloBoy V The World as long as shorty ain't shi--ing on your chest, or putting anything in you don't be afraid to try new things . Lmfao jkjk bro

 

Aug 25, 2016

Was f---ing Ama's throat and pissed a little

 

Aug 25, 2016

@Hank man I'm so sorry she ruined a good thing. Glad you were able to recover. Definitely would've done the same thing as you in the same situation.

 

Aug 25, 2016

While I was dating one of my exes a few years ago I was showing her pics of my baby brothers and accidentally scrolled too far and ended up showing her nudes from a side chick.