Feb 15, 2026 at 3:53 AM I saw her last night as she was dropping off letters she wrote to me. We hugged and cried. She was asking for another chance. Says she knows it will be different this time and she knows I'm the one. I told her I cannot believe that. That it would be good for a week or month and things would restart. She swears that wont happen, that she now knows losing me is not an option. I let her go, both in tears, but I'm not even sure I believe myself. Nothing easier for me than to give another chance. I am sort of on autopilot where "no" is the answer, but I lost why I'm saying it.
Feb 15, 2026 at 7:31 AM Wow, I’m proud of you. A lot of men would’ve folded in that situation. She’s really trying hard to get you back.
Feb 15, 2026 at 9:17 AM lol! Yeah it's not something I'll ever forget. Thank you for saying that, I am mostly humbled and grateful. I still don't really understand how I escaped alive. A good friend who was trying to kick with me died, left rehab and overdosed the same night. He was so young. It helps to remember how bad it was. Describing detox was a potent reminder, so thank you for asking. I've been doing g well for a pretty long while so it's easy to forget what got me sober. There's a slippery slope I would always hit of "well was it ever really THAT bad? maybe I could do it better now, I know how to co trial myself, I can handle it this time." That's what cost me the first 14 years. Apologies for not responding for real to this yesterday. Remembering all of this stuff is not fun or easy so I hit a boundary. And you're very welcome, too. If any of that experience supplies a little insight into anything to anyone else, I'm always glad.
Feb 15, 2026 at 9:28 AM You don't have to be perfect or have all the answers... follow your gut, you made this move for good reasons. If you do hold your ground, she may spiral some and make a mess for herself, maybe end up in trouble. If she does (emotional triggers, mourning the loss of the relationship), it's on her and nobody can fix it if she won't. Hopefully seeing how her decisions involving drinking and loss work will help her some way.
Feb 15, 2026 at 11:19 AM Sorry for triggering you, I've never been an addict well i suppose in have cos of the green.
Feb 15, 2026 at 11:56 AM Honestly my spending is low i literally buy a 7 gram quarter and it lasts me a month which is good since in my younger days i used to buy a 9 bar and sell it... every week so 9 ounces a week and outta that I'd smoke probably 2 ounces.
Feb 15, 2026 at 12:09 PM lol holy s---... Well that is significantly different. It's the kind of pet habit that can be pretty expensive for sure. You mentioned before that you'd tried to move away from it, was that why?
Feb 15, 2026 at 12:16 PM I used to be immune to it lol i'd put 2 grams in one joint smoke that and smoke another within 45 minutes mind you this was a long time ago when it was nowhere near as potent but the weed was still good. This was with friends btw...and yeah I stopped it for years basically met a girl moved out the area and walla. Took about a month before I was back to normal like normal sleeping patterns etc These days I'm smoking a joint maybe 2 per day with not much in as I said, a quarter will last me 3 to 4 weeks now but the s----s way stronger.
Feb 15, 2026 at 12:31 PM That's kind of a mammoth tolerance though! Do you sleep ok with it now? Also does it affect your dreams? I could not dream when I smoked, for some reason. It really bothered me and seemed to make no sense. Back in the day I smoked occasionally but I was never crazy about it; I did like the mildly trippy factor. There was an apple computer program called "Box of Rain" that my friend and I would smoke and play for hours with music, it was of my favorite ways to waste a day until I discovered lsd. I'd gladly give up dreaming now. What a pain in the a---. My dreams are way too vivid and I can't forget them. It's a sleep wrecker.
Feb 15, 2026 at 12:38 PM And I'd smoke that whilst working too bro. Our boss at the time let us smoke whilst we did manual labour but I knew people that smoked more than me lol Erm nah it didn't affect my dreams from what I remember but I do remember once I quit I had nightmares on and off for that whole month, strange isn't it. Normally I sleep fine but to tell you the truth this past few weeks i haven't been sleeping great but that's down to family members health. One of my aunts has been diagnosed with lung cancer so that's been on my mind a lot.
Feb 15, 2026 at 12:57 PM OMG HOW I'd have been flat on my back... then again, I did work high for years with the pills, and nobody ever noticed. You can get good at it with enough practice I guess I'm sorry, @BIGFOOT. That's a horrible blow. No wonder you're not sleeping.
Feb 15, 2026 at 1:01 PM Bro it's weed lmao not like it's smack Guessing you've never worked on a building site
Feb 15, 2026 at 1:04 PM I have not, in fact lol Weed knocked me down though. I was an boneless inanimate blob until it was time to raid the kitchen. The opiates just made me feel capable and inspired. Well, at first.
