Aug 22, 2017

As most people know I became good friends with Goofy Gary a couple months ago and after awhile he introduced me to Em and we became boys too. After showing him my posts on here and him seeing all my doubters he wanted to get involved. I joked around about an interview but he was all for it and here we are.

JMG: Thank you so much for this exclusive, Mr Mathers. Eminem, Slim Shady. I don't even know what to call you these days?

Eminem: Call me Slim s-----y cause I gotta take a massive deuce right now

JMG: Oh my, should we wait?

Eminem: Too late, I just s--- all over the floor

JMG: Well thats fine. I will have my servant LaShawn pick it up.

pause

JMG: So Em, the first question that everyone is dying to know right now.. What made you wanna grow a beard?

Em: Well its one of those things. I don't go out in public much but the people who really know me complaint my clean shave and ask what I am up to today. When I don't have the beard my close ones know I am about to go out in public, basically the beard has been more common and now im just being who I really am. No more gimmicks.

JMG: Interesting. What made you decide to be yourself and stop gimmicks

Em: Well my bff Paul left me for someone else and now I have no one to tell me what to do. Hes usually here during these things but he just took over Def Jam and left me with a bunch of s-----y artist who I don't even know who are? So I just took a long look in the mirror and decided I wanna be me. I don't have anyone telling me my next move so I'm kind of just winging it.

JMG: Wait, is there bad blood between you and Paul?

Em: We will see. If he thinks hes better than me because hes a C.E.O of Def Jam then I will bury him. He owes that to me and he better make it right.

JMG: Wow, this interview is becoming explosive. What is the future of Shady Records?

Em: I don't know. I just found out 50 and Obie wasn't on the label anymore and theres some hillbilly Yelawolf I need to promote for and I am taking it day by day. I am just trying to take all this in. Before I just was in the studio recording verses and taking commands and being lied to.

JMG: d---, You have pictures with Yelawolf and made songs with him. You really didn't know how he was.

Em: Look man. I have a lot going on. I wanted to just be a father so I told my camp to take control of whatever. I get a call saying come take a pic with a fan. Next thing I know they're putting my verses on his album. My little girls are growing up and becoming adults now and I can finally take my career back.

JMG: This is very shocking news. You do realize you have 2 major concerts coming up right? Also whats up with Shady Camp gear?

Em: Dog, are you f---ing serious? This is why fame sucks. You don't even know muther f---ers are making stupid s--- using your name. But yeah I found out about the concerts last week.. I am not mad about that though. I love performing and I plan to spend a lot of time on the road in the next couple years.

JMG: That sounds great. I'm sure a lot of people are happy to hear that. A lot of people have also been very curious about something else.. Your love life? Care to comment?

Em: b------s they come they go..

JMG: Thats whats up *slaps each others hands"

JMG: Anyway, I hear you're getting into producing and maybe acting more?

Em: I have no idea?

Well I know you're busy but I have to ask before you go. Its what everyone is wondering, the best question for last.. Were you cloned?

Em: _____________________________

After this question Eminem was really tired and fell asleep and people rushed in and I got kicked out. But I saw him the next day and he is fine and getting ready for the concerts. He also wanted you guys to check out his new movie Bodied coming out next month.