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Best Posts: worst places to get a boner

  1. Mike Tyson
    Posts: 20,023
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    Joined: Feb 15, 2011

    Mike Tyson big cuntry's alias

    Mar 25, 2015
    worst s--- for me was when i was in high school, i injured my leg playing hockey so my pop would wake me up early to help me with rehab and stretches. usually i'd roll out of bed and just do the stretches for 10 minutes and then go to the bathroom to brush, shower etc.

    this was usually at 5AM before my dad went to work, so he'd come to my room, turn the lights on and stand there til I got up, given my tendencies to just go back to sleep. this particular morning my morning wood wouldn't leave b. i did the tuck technique, i flexed my quads, i did every trick in the book.

    s--- was mad hectic, i ended up jumping out of bed in crouch formation like splinter cell and running to the bathroom claiming i had to 's---' really bad to cover up. i rolled out of bed and landed on all fours then i did this type of movement to bolt past him:

    [​IMG]

    smh
     
    #16
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  2. Oldboy
    Posts: 51,226
    Likes: 160,686
    Joined: Feb 14, 2011

    Oldboy

    Mar 24, 2015
    Probably if a relative sit in your lap
     
    #3
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  3. Mikey
    Posts: 7,898
    Likes: 15,868
    Joined: Feb 15, 2011

    Mikey

    Mar 25, 2015
    Your only 14 doubt anyone would have noticed :wayne:
     
    #27
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  4. Nori
    Posts: 8,507
    Likes: 37,097
    Joined: Mar 19, 2015
    Location: The Pink

    Nori ☺ Deadpool is my deformed bousin☺

    Apr 30, 2015
    During a rap battle, I was going too hard and got excited.
     
    #45
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  5. Lil Wayne
    Posts: 3,464
    Likes: 5,256
    Joined: Nov 28, 2014

    Lil Wayne Tha Carter V

    Mar 24, 2015
    When your boss introduces you to his daughter. Especially if she has a nice a---.
    When visiting Grandma's house.
    When walking past the playground.
    While giving a passionate speech against r---.
    At the same time you dropped the soap in prison
     
    #14
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  6. Jakey
    Posts: 11,334
    Likes: 29,532
    Joined: Feb 6, 2015

    Jakey You Reckon

    Mar 24, 2015
     
    #9
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  7. J WALK
    Posts: 1,050
    Likes: 541
    Joined: Feb 20, 2011
    Location: DENVER

    J WALK TECHN9CIAN

    Mar 24, 2015
    Probably the worst place I got a boner was....
    I dated this trick and she put half a Viagra in my drink without me noticing. It was like a hour before I had to leave to work and she was like "let's f--- real quik". So I'm like word, get hard über quik and get to business. So it's like 10 mins before I gotta dip to work and my erection wouldn't go away.
    Any ways went to work using the "tuck technique" and that worked for about 5 mins cuz I was wearing basketball shorts. Ended up getting fired. Went back home argued with my girl and f----- the rest of the night. That boner lasted for probably 3 hours. :king:
     
    #1
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  8. because the internet
    Posts: 9,093
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    Joined: Jan 19, 2015

    because the internet

    Mar 25, 2015
    It was my birthday last year and I was woken up by my family all standing at my door wanting me to get up.......... didn't know what to do so I had to sorta shuffle along and sit on the edge of my bed with my duvet still covering it up and had to waste time till the s--- went away by putting socks on and s---.... thought my life was gonna end at that moment.
     
    #26
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  9. Charlie Work
    Posts: 14,879
    Likes: 25,807
    Joined: Nov 28, 2014

    Charlie Work Level 5 Goblin

    Mar 25, 2015
    In your mouth and/or a--- I would imagine.
     
    #19
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  10. Enigma
    Posts: 15,279
    Likes: 17,890
    Joined: Nov 27, 2014

    Enigma Civil liberties > Police safety

    Mar 25, 2015
    @Mike Tyson your post had me dying.

    A bad experience my friend once had was we were all sitting in this super small living room with a small couch and a couple chairs. There were probably like 15 people in this living room so of course some of the chicks had to sit on people's laps. So this chick is sitting on my friends lap and she randomly is like "what's that I'm sitting on?". Keep in mind my buddy is high af, like he's completely stoned so he has no idea what she's talking about, he says "oh it's my phone" but he was holding his phone in his hand lol. Then she got up and we all kinda got a quick glance of what it was lmao. I felt real bad for him after, dude looked so embarrassed but we all just laughed it off after and the chick was a good sport about it lol.
     
    #18
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  11. FreeAgent
    Posts: 13,350
    Likes: 30,122
    Joined: Nov 27, 2014

    FreeAgent Resurrected like Jesus

    Mar 24, 2015
    :dead:
    That man at the end opening the doors to free his boner :laff:
     
    #11
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  12. Juney Dark
    Posts: 11,090
    Likes: 17,955
    Joined: Feb 15, 2011

    Juney Dark Art Deco Killer Mango

    Mar 24, 2015
    So, that's how you got your name?
     
    #7
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  13. JayEmGe
    Posts: 705
    Likes: 675
    Joined: Nov 23, 2014
    Location: Sf

    JayEmGe Funky Monk

    Mar 24, 2015
    The worst place to get a boner would probably be in front of a women's rights class in some edgy college.

    I can't imagine the bs a--- reasons they would come up with how your boner is ""opressing"" the female race.
     
    #4
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  14. pHiLLip fARkLe
    Posts: 6,212
    Likes: 10,218
    Joined: Feb 15, 2011

    pHiLLip fARkLe Goofiest Poster on the Forum, Ever.

    Mar 25, 2015
    at an all you can eat buffet
     
    #23
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  15. reservoirGod
    Posts: 11,815
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    Joined: Mar 7, 2011
    Location: Alaska

    reservoirGod reckless adventurer.

    Mar 24, 2015
    When you are taking the stand at your murder trial.
     
    #13
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  16. LynchedUp
    Posts: 82
    Likes: 71
    Joined: May 10, 2011
    Location: Amsterdam

    LynchedUp

    Mar 24, 2015
    It might not be the worst place ever but I'm working nightshifts regularly at a hotel here in Amsterdam and that means I get to sleep from 1am-6am. Unfortunately this also means that I have to check out some guests at 6am with my morning wood still in full effect. Sometimes I see them looking but idgaf
    :dwight: srsly, do you realize how f---ing early 6am is. Couldn't care less at times like these
     
    #6
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  17. Zep
    Posts: 5,705
    Likes: 7,037
    Joined: Dec 22, 2014

    Zep Certified Feminist

    Mar 25, 2015
    thats the best place
     
    #25
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  18. Term-X
    Posts: 584
    Likes: 672
    Joined: Dec 16, 2014

    Term-X relevant.

    Mar 24, 2015
    Dentist chair, I've got two relatively good looking girls doing me + a trainee who's also female.
     
    #8
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  19. Five Star
    Posts: 3,150
    Likes: 3,062
    Joined: Jul 23, 2011

    Five Star

    Mar 24, 2015
    s--- would turn out like this

    [​IMG]
     
    #5
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