Apr 20, 2015

Thanks in advance to anyone who listens/comments/discusses/shares. This tape means a lot to me.

N9NETY 5IVE
April
8IGHTY 3HREE
Interlude
15
lately
27 (see u)















Random mentions. My b if you didn't want to be mentioned.

Spoiler

@Narsh @Cyreides @captain awesome @Jet @Winter @IAmReal @Bot @KMann @Grimace @Truth Himself @Pigeon @Nay Nay @Creation @briandobeats @M.I.C. @Genius @sindy @Bleed @WPG @Koolo @Olorin @Mike Tyson @Meero @Radeem @Skippy @Worm @Zep @GMV @Fire Squad @Medici @Michael Scott @CarolinaFiend @rapmusik @Heisenberg @BlackMamba @soul intent @Iceman @6ixgawd @Jay @Michael Myers @TrxggerShot @TimmyT @Twan @Arch Dogg @FlawlessT t @Packman @Kon @Noid @FreeAgent agent @M Solo @Zeugma @Brubbels @neomerge @AnalOnFirstDate @Mathias @killakush @LukeS80 @Dew

 

Apr 23, 2015

Many thanks to anyone who took the time out of their day to listen. N9NETY 5IVE 8IGHTY 3HREE was something I've been wanting to do for a really long time. I made it with the intention of evoking a certain feeling, one I haven't personally felt in a long time. It's nostalgia. It's innocence. It's memories of home, long before they were shadowed by my world being flipped upside down.

I was born in 1995. I lived on 83 Parker Road, with my Dad and my brother. My parents split up long before my earliest memories, so all I knew at home was my Dad and brother. Family meant everything to us. My Dad's health took an unexpected turn when I was 10, and sadly, it never improved. Depression hit like a ton of bricks. I was in the 6th grade when I was initially diagnosed. We were all in a very dark place the next few years. We didn't get along, at all. My brother ended up getting kicked out and moved in with my grandparents. Our situation reached an all time low when I was in the 9th grade. My Dad, unexpectedly, passed away on April 27th 2011. I was 15. It was due to heart failure, caused by a handful of contributing health problems, mainly stemming from poorly treated diabetes. I found him when I opened his bedroom door to ask if I could stay home from school. 83 Parker Road wasn't a place of comfort anymore. My home, the place I grew up and had the best memories of my life, was gone to me. The last memory I have of my Dad is one I hoped to never have.

Listening to music my escape when he passed away. I think my headphones were on more often than not after he died. I moved in with my grandparents and the brother I thought I hated. I spent more time in my bedroom than anywhere else. PTSD, anxiety disorders and depression controlled me. Every day was a struggle. When I reached the 12th grade I was having panic attacks every single day. I was finally coming to terms with the loss of my Dad, but something inside wasn't letting me live a normal life. My friends were getting accepted into universities, being granted scholarships, and I was lucky to make it out of the house and even show up for class. One day, about a year ago, it became too much to handle. I was tired of living my day to day trapped in my mind, reliving the moments that felt like a lifetime ago. I told my doctor everything I had been feeling. He prescribed me some anti-depressants and referred me to therapy. I had to tell them everything. Every bad memory, every emotion I buried inside of me, every fear I had in life, irrational or not. It was exhausting. But slowly I started to feel better. I graduated high school in June of last year and decided to take some time off of school and focus on my mental health and I've never been a better person than I am today.

Excuse any vagueness or lack of clarity in that wall of text. I'm not one for sharing personal details, really.

 

Apr 21, 2015

Let me know when you guys listen!

Thanks for checking it out dude. It's been a while since I've made music to just vibe to.

thanks for listening bruh.

glad you enjoy it, it was a hassle at times to put together.

I feel you dude. I kind of had to take a step back from mixing and the engineering aspect of things and just focus on the music. I originally had 20 or so beats dedicated to the project, then I wanted to do a double release, 95 being the laid back beats that ended up on this tape, and 83 being the dungeon-esque, gloomy style of beats I've been making as of recent. Eventually I settled on an idea and it became this. It was really refreshing to be able to play around with music again, just do s--- at my own pace and take the time to make something I want to make.

 

Apr 22, 2015

I finished listening to this yesterday before I went to my gf's house.. great smooth production as always. "15" is my favorite.. looking forward to more.

 

Apr 21, 2015

This is fantastic. I truly enjoyed the whole project. Favorite is probably "April," but "Lately" was up there as well. Real good s---, Man

 

Apr 21, 2015

Love, and I mean, absolutely love this tape. Highlights for me are 83, 15 and April.