How are these rap lyrics? (Please constructive criticism)

Started by Fanzik, May 30, 2015, in Creative Add to Reading List

  1. Fanzik
    Posts: 52
    Likes: 15
    Joined: Apr 17, 2015

    May 30, 2015
    VERSE 1
    The power of the voice is unbelievable
    Men are oblivious, so they remain silent
    Pursuit of justice is conceivable
    We can go above the violence
    Been left high and dry
    We livin' merely to survive
    Perhaps my perception is ignant
    But I stress yours is a figment
    MLK said it best - don't lose infinite hope
    Do not be choked by the government's rope
    To them, my voice dangerous - I understand
    But I'm just lending a helpinig hand
    Across the globe, we be lethargic
    Hopeless, starving, tragic
    No passion, no heart
    Mediocrity is satisfcation, praying for a new start

    HOOK

    Dear God, I want it all to change
    I can't live if it stays the same
    Life and death on the line, I proclaim
    If all hope is perished, who is to blame?

    VERSE 2

    Time for a refresh
    In for the greater good, no less
    God tests the strong, so here we are
    Pursuit of justice ain't a flight to mars
    Good Earth is rich, and we must donate
    Fight for equality, fight to end poverty before it's too late
    I've had visions of greatness
    Now I have visions of a perfect world
    I want to use the fame for good
    Give money and support all the broken hoods
    Ladies and gentlemen
    Enter the P.L.P (peace, love and positivity) state of mind
    And dawn on the future, don't rewind
    Follow your dreams, and happiness is what you'll find
    So I thank you for listening to my words of distress
    Stand for respect
    Live life with passion and no regrets
     
    #1
    0 0
    May 9, 2025
  2. Ordinary Joel
    Posts: 29,094
    Likes: 71,648
    Joined: Mar 23, 2015

    Ordinary Joel Happiness begins when selfishness ends

    May 30, 2015
    @Narsh you should help this brotha out. :brent:
     
    #2
    2
    attila and Fanzik like this.
    2
    attila and Fanzik like this.
    May 9, 2025
  3. Charlie Work
    Posts: 14,879
    Likes: 25,807
    Joined: Nov 28, 2014

    Charlie Work Level 5 Goblin

    May 30, 2015
    Did you ghostwrite TPAB?
    :i:
     
    #3
    0 0
    May 9, 2025
  4. Fanzik
    Posts: 52
    Likes: 15
    Joined: Apr 17, 2015

    May 31, 2015
    Good or bad thing?
     
    #4
    0 0
    May 9, 2025
  5. Packman
    Posts: 6,972
    Likes: 10,735
    Joined: Nov 23, 2014

    May 31, 2015
    I like your writing man. Good job
     
    #5
    1
    Fanzik likes this.
    1
    Fanzik likes this.
    May 9, 2025
  6. Fanzik
    Posts: 52
    Likes: 15
    Joined: Apr 17, 2015

    May 31, 2015
    bump
     
    #6
    0 0
    May 9, 2025