Jul 25, 2015 Advisory: This was a story I concocted around a month ago, and I figured I would bring it to this website and let you guys enjoy it. The real Eminem died from a drug overdose in December of 2007 , the one we see today is a clone. But it gets more elaborate than that. The Eminem android (which was composed of bits and pieces of Eminem's DNA and memory data, as well as complicated knowledge of flows and rhyme schemes among other things) had actually gone into production around 2005, when rumors of Eminem retiring as well as continued ascension into both eating disorders and drug abuse forced long-time friend Dr. Dre, as well as Interscope Records founder Jimmy Iovine, to invest in technology which would further Marshall's life as a musician, thus extending the cash-cow that is Eminem. Not long after Eminem's death in 2007, details of his fatal drug overdose were quickly swept under the rug from his fans, his music label, and even his closest of friends in exchange of false reports of the alleged rapper barely surviving. As advanced cybernetics were being used to finish the "Eminem Mk. II", family and friends grew weary. Those under his custody were then given stimulants that put them into a lucid state to avoid compromising the project, and then put under Kim's supervision. As the general public grew tired of Eminem's absence, resulting in repeated message board posts from white teenagers asking when “Eminem's next classic” would be released, it became apparent to Dre that something had to be done. After weeks of planning, Andre gave birth to Operation: King Mathers. With one objective in sight, Operation: King Mathers was tasked with shielding the truth from both fans and the news media by elaborately casting rumors of a supposed return compiled from several post-Encore fan theories originating on the internet. As the Eminem Mk. II was being fitted with the last installations and technology, the machine was then put through rigorous testing in order to authentic it's voice, flows, and rhyme patterns. These sessions, known as the “King Mathers Tapes” would be illegally obtained by hackers through infiltration of Interscope's servers years down the road. Recordings such as 'Ballin Uncontrollably' and 'Wee Wee' were labeled as miserable failed attempts at recreated Marshall's rapping style, resulting in several revisions to the Mk. II's flow comprehension skills, as well as voice modification and rhyme recognition. After months of painstakingly complex and expensive development, the Mk. II was set to hit the public. Numerous songs, such as 'Crack a Bottle' and 'Beautiful' had exceeded expectations, replicating Eminem's rapping tone and demeanor much to the mirror of Marshall's earlier work. A release date was set, Relapse would be Eminem's return to music. Then things went wrong. Even with Interscope's top scientists working on the Eminem Mk. II, now known as EmBot, his synthetics were prone to unexplained outbursts. These outbursts acted as glitches in his central rapping system, leaving design flaws which could potentially be exploited. At some point during the Relapse sessions, EmBot was injected with a computer virus, one that replaced his normally sober, organic voice with absurd pronunciation and fixated the brain processors with images of serial killing, raping women, and redbull. Another side effect from this disaster, the frequent twitching of EmBot's eyes, continues to this very day. Although the culprit was never found, it is easy to assume that one of Marshall's past rivals, such as Benzino or the Insane Clown Posse pulled off this incredible technological feat. With Relapse destined to come out sooner than later, Interscope was forced to allow EmBot to continue rapping in his frantic state. This resulted in the critically panned Relapse album. After the wonky release and subsequently failed reboot to Eminem's career, Dr. Dre went back to the lab. He put his best team into work on Operation: Recovery, in which Aftermath scientists would attempt to detox EmBot of his virus and crack down even harder on his production flaws, attempting to create a more refined synthetic overlay that would allow Em to more vividly replicate his older self. While the revised clone was precise with replicating Eminem's old voice, Dre's team had to cut down on his flow and lyricism receptors, leaving Eminem with a limited but effective sound of simple cadence and repeated punchlines. What they created would become what we know as Eminem during the Recovery era. As shareholders in Eminem's music began to go ballistic during the fallout of a sub-700k opening week, the higher-ups conducted a backup plan. They initiated several business inquisitions that would result in collaborations with popular artists' Lil Wayne and Rihanna. After the implementation of these collaborations, Eminem's popularity skyrocketed back to a reasonable level. Marshall was once again the golden boy of rap, topping many year-end lists with his Recovery album being praised as a return to form. As time passed, the one-time critical acclaim of Recovery began to die down, and as evident with Eminem's next release, the collaborative album with fellow Detroit rapper Royce Da 5'9”, the new generation of Hip-Hop listeners grew tired of EmBot. It was then that Dr. Dre, who had focused practically his entire life post-2005 on successfully recreating Eminem instead of working on his Detox album, decided to overclock EmBot's memory receptors with images from Eminem's prime, circa-2000, in hopes of finalizing the perfect Eminem replica. The third and final incarnation of Eminem was born, dubbed EmBot2000. Dre's hypothesis was correct. With intense digitizing of Eminem's past memories, the clone had developed enhanced rhyme capabilities, skillful use of flows, and most importantly, a definitive database of tactful wordplay. The final piece was the return of the blonde hair, a trademark of Eminem's youth to symbolize the re-birth of the angry blonde himself. Had Eminem truly been recreated? EmBot2000 would go on to create his greatest work, The Marshall Mathers LP 2. It was only justice that the improved EmBot would follow up with a sequel to Eminem's magnum opus. While not topping the organically created MMLP, TES, or SSLP, MMLP2 was a success in it's own right, earning Embot2000 it's greatest critical success yet. Eminem was finally back on track. ...However, no one involved in the project could be prepared for what would happen next. The use of cybernetics in the creation of an Eminem clone was both the saving grace and ultimate downfall of EmBot2000. After years of rapping at a high level, sensory conflicts within the clone began to interfere with his genetic programming. This error resulted in severe misalignment of the clone's rapping fragmentation, resulting in forced syllable output and sporadic use of flow fragments, both due to the information accumulated from the original Marshall's life as a rapper. Eminem, in the form of Marshall Bruce Mathers' memories, DNA, and spirit essentially began to eat EmBot2000 away from the inside out. ...What happens next, we don't know. As several side projects and other albums from labelmates Yelawolf and Slaughterhouse are released, we are left to wonder if the geniuses behind EmBot's creation will be able to correct this monstrosity, or if Marshall Mathers himself will put an end to their manipulative, greedy ways once and for all by destroying the robot who took his characteristics to formulate it's own rise to power. Only time will tell.
Jul 25, 2015 The only thing truly sad I read in 2007 was Interscope stocking his albums in case he died
Jul 25, 2015 The fact that they readily replaced him with a rebot after he passed away without even telling his friends and family of his death is pretty messed up tbh
Jul 25, 2015 Wanted to say tl;dr but after the first 2 sentences I lost my interest since it's a joke lol
