Jul 31, 2015

I was trying to take a girls bra off and I couldn't do it, she had to do it for me

 

Jul 31, 2015

I tried to seduce my friends mom at their lake house by being all smooth and s---. I tried to step up onto a boat without looking and missed and I split my kneecap open. Luckily I didn't need stitches

 

Jul 30, 2015

I got more L's than I got fingers.

 

Jul 31, 2015

Sophomore year of high school soccer I completely f----- up on this free kick that would have taken us to the playoffs, everyone hated me for almost a month

 

Jul 31, 2015

I was home from college for winter break and this new girl was working at the restaurant I would work at when I was home. Started macking it to her. I would drive her home, pick the same shifts, all the amateur s--- you do when you're young. So it's my last shift before I leave for school and I made sure we got cut around the same time so I could drive her home. The whole way there I told myself I was gonna make my move. Pull up in front of her house and start having that awkward good bye talk. I make my move to kiss her and b---- out last second and try to turn it into a hug. As I'm repositioning myself for a hug landing my seat belt jams and instinctively my left arm jerks ahead from the tension and I miss the hug and my palm lands square on her breast. I was shocked and left it there for a second cause I had no idea what was going on...like left it there, looked at her, looked back down. Took a few AOL IM's to clear that one up

 

Aug 1, 2015

My brother and his hot a--- girlfriend caught me jack--- o-- to some scrambled vhs p---. They probably stood there speechless for a minute before I even realized they were there.

 

Aug 1, 2015

Alright so I was in HS, about to be 18. About a week before my bday i was on FB lurking at a--- and well you know those late night thirsty hours. those late night drake simping hours.
So i see this XC runner that always had a nice a--- a nice body who i had a crush on for a month at one point. she wasnt a dime but she was pretty.
She was with one of these dudes for a while and heard she was a bit of a freak so anyways she posted a status about wanting some burritos from
so my simping a---, i dont hollar at hoes , persona kicked in & tried to be smooth and said some bs.
I probably said id go and buy her some burritos
anyways, this led to a conversation and i end up getting her math-word to ab soul.
i texted her the next few days and said whats up at school in the hall etc.
about 3 days before my birthday, i was with my dawg and he was like d--- fool tell her to do something for your bday
well with my a--- getting no a--- for most of the year i said f--- it, f--- not being another thirsty n-----.
that night we were texting and i began the birthday talk, she was all excited you know how b------s be.
then i said what you gonna get me?
she said "whatever you want"
i wanted to be safe and said: "whatever i want? anything, anything? "
she was like yeah anything you want, so i tried to be polite and s--- asking for a blow
"would you go down on me?"
her: "what? what do you mean?"
b im f---ing lmao at this point, theres no turning back
"will you give me head"
her: " wow. i cant believe you just said that "
b im f---ing dead/feel stupid/cant believe i followed through
i apologize and simp and say that dont mean s--- and that ill apologize in person.
at school the next day, i told her sorry that wasn't like me---she laughed when and said it was ok.
s--- seemed normal for a few days and slowly we stopped talking after that
i coulda got some top if i woulda been patient but i let the peer pressure from my dawg get to me
one of the many L's of that year

 

Jul 31, 2015

no

 

Jul 31, 2015

my biggest L was joining this website

 

Jul 31, 2015

i gave her the 6 like i was in toronto

 

Jul 31, 2015

Went on two dates (both were movie dates). Both those dates had her mum and sis sitting at the back of the theatre.

It wasn't meant to be.

 

Jul 31, 2015

Are you a redbone?

 

Jul 30, 2015

@Raziel laughed pretty hard but I'd give it a 5 Meeks out of 10.

@Mike Tyson 0/10 meeks, keep it that way

@Cyreides 7/10 meeks, 8/10 meeks if it still makes you cringe today

 

Jul 31, 2015

When I was in 8th grade I got Type One Diabetes...so that was a pretty big L

 

Jul 31, 2015

One time I was close to losing my virginity with this chick who was my gf at the time..

We're under the sheets and I'm getting excited. She starts feeling me up and says "is that it" and laughed. Never felt so humiliated in my d--- life ! Tru story