May 4, 2016

ReVIEWS: Big Ghost Digs Into Drake – #VIEWS [Track By Track LP Review]



Ayo whattup… You now once again in the presence of the almighty Hands of Zeus aka the illustrious Phantom Raviolis aka the world famous Cocaine Biceps aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka the benevolent Galaxy Knuckles in the flesh….but yall might kno me as Big Ghost. The gawd is back in effect once again to bless the culture wit the words of wisdom n whatever…



But yo…yall hear that? Thats the sound of half the testosterone on earth evacuating the planet… Guess Drake done dropped a new album. Its no secret that I aint exactly this dudes biggest supporter namsayin. I mean son got a couple joints I dont mind listenin to but that Drake playlist in my iTunes is shorter than Rick Ross’s verse on “Monster” b. It aint cuz I got anything against dude…I jus hate his f---in music n think he a ridiculous person. Aubrey can be many things tho… R&B chanteuse…imaginary sports aficionado… waverider… waveparasailer…wavehoverboarder… As well as some unique hybrid things such as a misogynist/fuckboy… fake sincere… The Human Urban Outfitters etc.. Most days I would rather stab myself in the nuts witta butterknife than actually listen to sons music on purpose…never mind 20 got d--- tracks of it… but Okayplayer done threw the bag of money at me again sooooo… here I am. 20 tracks tho? s--- is gon be like listening to a chopped n screwed Celine Dion album b. Pray for me…


1. “Keep the Family Close” – Yo how is track 1 on your album gon be 90 mins long b? The f--- type of… Oh hol up…this s--- is only 5-1/2 mins. Guess it jus feels like its 3 episodes of The Big b--- Theory long cuz I hate its f---in guts n I wanna stab it in the face. Listen yo… If the giant invisible a------ in the sky that sh---ed out Tyga, Ryan Seacrest, n Donald Drumpf into existence n onto the surface of the earth ever squeezed out a song at some point in time this might be that song. The very first words this muthafucka croons on the album are some the most bitchmade lyrics I ever heard in my life b. If a muthafuckin bed of magical daffodils could write songs it might come up wit some bars that was less bitchmade than this yo. Its like the soundtrack to Cats jus exploded out his a--- while son was in the booth n 40 was like “Thats a take” n s--- was a wrap. Boom. Son…did you jus call ya exes all your “Lets just be friends”? You need to get kicked in ya d--- teeth for that s--- alone… Never mind the fact that the next line is:

“How do you not check on me when things go wrong?“

n then

“Ya supposed to put your pride aside n ride for me/Guess it wasnt time…of course you went n chose a side that wasnt mine “

Can you be any more of a self absorbed little emo thot bruh? What you like 8 years old or some s---? Grow a d--- d-ck b…



2. “9” – This a dedication to “the 6” aka Toronto.. In case he lost you wit the witty title this s--- is called “9” cuz Aubrey feels like he done turned the city upside down. Ima give yall a moment to allow ya minds to be momentarily blown to fragments before I continue…. *listens to “Ante Up” by M.O.P. to cleanse away the powdered sugar residue of the last song from memory forever*…. Anyways this song is softer than squirrel punani.. but compared to the last s--- its Beanie Sigel’s “What Your Life Like.” Everything that I or any normal man hates bout this generation of (male) rappers n any remotely successful starved-for-attention fuckface quasi celebs in general can be found within the petty bitchmade words of this song b… The bitterness…the slick little sideways talk n subliminals…the weepin bout how hard it is to love people…the patting of ones self on the back for the eleven millionth time for takin care of ya own people type s---…the TRUST ISSUES… I mean how many times can the same muthafucka regurgitate this thought b?

“I got it right now so I’m everybody’s friend/If I ever lose I bet we never speak again ”

I also jus wanted to point out that this s--- got like a paragraph worth of names in the songwriter credits. Its like the cast of a independent movie on that muthafucka b. Anyways I aint mad at it but f--- this song.



3. “U With Me?” – The title of this thot anthem kinda says it all. To add insult to the paper cut.. Mr Sadpants had the nerve to sample the muthafuckin antithesis of his own self on this s---. How you tryna pay homage to DMX b? Aint like son went outta his way to ever say one remotely positive thing bout you ever bruh. Matter fact Ima jus let X speak on it…


Dog…its no reconciliation after s--- like that nahmean. What you tryna be that man friend after he disrespects ya face n ya d--- haircut? Son… Only thing he aint do was say that ya moms aint s--- for birthin you. Thats it. That was the line DMX was unwilling to cross…disrespectin ya old earth for allowin a petty sideways talkin bitchmade wave ridin culture vulture wit trust issues n gummi bears pumpin from his heart to gestate inside her womb. Thats where the line is drawn for Earl. He gon hate on ya little motherly voice n how you walk n ya weepy lost dog face but he not bout to disrespect mom dukes like that. Thats admirable b. That’s a gentleman right there yo. But this Drake character? I mean look at this verse…

“On some DMX s---
I group DM my exes
I tell em they belong to me / That goes on for forever
And I think we jus get closer when we not together (*sniffle*)
You tell me that Im confusin
More immature than Marques Houston
Cuts too deep for a bandaid solution =(
We too deep in this thing to never lose me
LOLOL Im glad you find this s--- amusing “

Aint enough trash emojis to fully express how basura this boy bars is startin to get. s--- is like a teacher caught two 12 yr olds passin notes n read the funny parts out loud in front of the class n somebody threw a beat under it. J. Cole wouldnt even use these rhymes… Aubrey might gotta swallow his little pride n iron out whatever happened between him n Quentin Miller cuz whoever wrote this s--- for him clearly aint strivin to be the next Black Thought or Pharoahe Monch namsayin.


4. “Feel No Ways” – This s--- is like the exact same song as the last song except wit better production n a slightly less b---- a--- quintessence to it. I actually aint mad at it. I mean not really… I think most the credit might gotta go to Jordan Ullman of Majid Jordan fame for the backdrop… s--- is like the aftermath of “Hold On We’re Going Home.” Guess s--- aint turn out so rosy after they got home after all.. Aubrey singin his bitter little heart out bout a bitter chick who been draggin his prestigious reputation thru the mud… Thats very unfortunate bruh bruh. Anyways yo I dont hate it…but you not gon catch me at a red light bumpin this corny s--- neither.



5. “Hype” – Only thing I got less time for than bitter Drake venting bout his bitter exes for 5 mins on a track somebody else wrote for him is “look at my accomplishments” Drake goin in on nameless enemies on a track somebody else wrote for him. Is this s--- bout Meek? Tory Lanez? Breezy? Mo-G? Kendrick? Obama? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ All we kno is the s--- sounds like leftovers from IYRTITL. You dont gotta invent a new sound on every song bruh but this s--- is pointless… How this s--- took 5 producers to cook up is beyond my comprehension b. The track sounds like the s--- muthafuckas on Twitter who started makin beats that same day spam me wit.



6. “Weston Road Flows” – Yanno when you hang wit somebody n they decide to bring along some other character you never met before but they got some history n you get the feelin that this individual is insecure bout you bein there n all this muthafucka wanna do is claim the mutual friend yall wit n talk bout s--- from like when they went n did this that or the other n you wasnt really part of that or around at that time n they be on some cryptic s--- like YO REMEMBER THAT TIME…YOU KNO THE TIME WHEN WE WAS AT YOU KNO THAT PLACE WHEN WE SEEN THEM ALL N THEY DID THE THING WIT THE THING N WE WAS LAUGHIN AT THAT s--- YO THAT WAS SOME FUNNY s---…HAHAHAHAHA YO I WONDER WHATEVER HAPPENED TO EM…n you jus waitin for that muthafucka to calm the f--- down n you tryna not lose ya cool n punch him in the mouth? Its kinda how it is when Drake makes these types of songs b. Its like 8 people on the planet who understand all the s--- he referencing on this b---- without googling any of it. Muthafucka I dont kno who any these people is or what spot that was you parked whoever vehicle it was in front of wherever the f--- it was n why this matters to you still… I also dont care bout ya little insecurities n how much you need to convince yaself that everybody jealous of whatever you accomplished doin whatever it is you think is so much more special than any other pop star in music today so eat a d-ck bruh… That being said I dont particularly care for this song but it can live. I guess.



7. “Redemption” – Another broken hearted thot ballad. Hol up… I gotta go cleanse my aura of this s--- n listen to “Dipset Anthem” or the entire Scarface catalog before I speak on this f---in abomination to the male species. (6 hours later…) Dog…if the homie dropped by the crib n suddenly all the spoons n forks n plates n candles n whatever in my kitchen magically came to life n started singin “Be Our Guest” that s--- still wouldnt be cornier than gettin caught bumpin this f---in song right now. Aint even like the music is wack yo its jus all Drake fault basically…



8. “With You” – Sooooo…for the first minute n a half we get the reference vocals for this s--- by PartyAcrossTheHallway or whatever n then Drake starts duetting wit son n the s--- gets extra zesty. Ionno what else to tell yall…



9. “Faithful” – This recycled n completely outta place soundin p---- C verse at the beginning of the track really dont help nothin nahmean…n it’s basically remindin me what a dickrider Drake been throughout his entire career. How many legends he gotta hitch his little wagon to? How many waves he gotta swoop in n ride on? You tell me bruh… Anyways yo the only thing I got less time for than bitter Drake venting bout his bitter exes for 5 mins on a track somebody else wrote for him n “look at my accomplishments” Drake goin in on nameless enemies on a track somebody else wrote for him is seductive Drake doin the whole unfaithful playboy heartbreaker thing on a track somebody else wrote for him. Fuckouttahere yo..



10. “Still Here” – Never thought I would ever notice if somebody was jackin Desiignerfor “his” style… But leave it to Drake to consistently take his bitin game to the next level…effortlessly. How son managed to find a way to borrow from somebody who already borrowed his entire style from Future is d--- near a whole new link in the evolutionary chain of bitin yo… This is Pai Mei levels of mastery nahmean. s--- is like the five point exploding heart technique manifested in the form of jackin styles n s---. This muthafucka jus became the Yoda of biters. Kudos bruh… Later in the song he starts throwin in a few of the more typical Drake flows. Topic-wise tho…son decided it was time to touch on how successful he is. This is Drake finally respondin to his haters sayin LOOK AT ALL THESE SUCCESSES I DONE SUCCEEDED. The twist comes later when he finds out somebody close to him cant be trusted namsayin… Did not see that s--- comin. Anyways this beat kinda knocks.



11. “Controlla” – So the beat drops. It sounds right nahmean. I like this s---. Before I can even fully say to myself that this seems like it might got some real potential the boy ‘Brey comes in wit the Lionel Richie “All Night Long” Caribbean flow again. Laaaawd a mercy on us all… So Im thinkin ok whatever maybe he might stop it after the intro n jus… Oh nah this muthafucka goin full Lady Saw on the track now. Jah nuh hear seh mi prayers b… Ok mek wi look pon this from anotha persepshawwwwn… This is someting mi nuh f---s wit but mi nuh waan downgrade the yutes dem… Mi nuh waaaaaan fi do that…truss mi. Yuh affi know when to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tho. It nuh matter star. Mi nuh care wha’ mek dem batty bwoy do batty tings. Wi gwaan move on now bredren…



12. “One Dance” – WHY JAH? WHYYYYY??? Son really need to get the f--- out Rihanna lane already b. Seems like aint nobody safe from Drake wave ridin yo…not even RiRi. Ayo mi should not affi suffer for the fuckery dem him gwaan wid a nuff more tings…yall need fi kno dat. f--- this bumbaclot song tho. Ayo ‘Breynie Man…ease up.



13. “Grammys” – I aint mad at this s--- b. Both Future n the Aubster kinda did they thing on this. The s--- bangs too. Southside did his thing on the beat forreal. I might not need to throw this s--- in the recycle bin at all. Real talk.



14. “Childs Play” – Whats a Drake album without some stripper anthems/ballads? Especially when son lowkey seems to be tryna make Take Care II here. This s--- is really jus par for the course b. Son had the “Practice” record on Take Care n it had the the little Juvenile sample on there.. Now he got some other NOLA bounce s--- playin under this whole track. s--- aint actually as innovative n mind blowin as Im makin it sound right now tho…



15. “Pop Style” – This that s--- that dropped a little while back n had Kanye on it. It also had Hov spittin that hot 2 on it. Im thinkin ‘Brey ‘Brey either took offense to the fact that Jigga hit him wit the last line of “Takeover” level disrespect or he jus wanted those bars for hisself. We might not never find out b. I aint mad at this s--- tho. The irony is the fact that one the hardest beats on the album is a track called “Pop Style.” I understand the slang but the s--- is still OD funny to me bruh. This is also where he spits this lyrical gem:

“Got so many chains they call me Chaining Tatum“



16. “Too Good” – Aight so here comes the Carribean s--- again. This time RiRi is on the track…n s--- is more or less jus some regular RiRi/Drake collabo s---. Jah finally showed mercy on me n aint make it so I had to suffer thru more of Aubrey’s Starbucks patois. Oh nah…spoke too soon. This muthafucka said “c--- up yuh bumpahh…sit down pon eeetuh.” I actually cant tell if he was purposely tryna throw in the slight Filipino accent or what fam… Son sounds like Pacquiao doin karaoke of “Wa Do Dem” by Eek-A-Mouse. This s--- jus f----- up my whole day b. I need some Bobo Ashanti cats need to make this s--- stop yo. Sizzla or Capleton need to come slap fire out his a--- for this s--- b. In the name of Halie Selassie I… Dey nuh odda way bredren.



17. “Summers Over Interlude” – I guess this means no more calypso dancehall s---. Anyways Majid jus here to remind yall what it sounds like when somebody who can actually sing takes the wheel on a Drake record. I aint mad at it.



18. “Fire & Desire” – From the title alone you already kno this bout to be some heavy duty s---… Oh nah its jussa love letter to Nicki again. This some classic Drake “cant get over some s---” s---. Relax bruh…you (n ya army of ghostwriters) won the battle…but you lost the Nicki. Move on b. I dont listen to too much ballad rap so I cant really deal wit the tempo here…which is like “watchin turtles f---” tempo. So basically this song can eat a d-ck… If you dig it Im happy for you… *skip*



19. “Views” – I figure this is like his “Lord Knows” moment…minus the diggin thru a chicks purse while she in the bathroom levels of bitchassness. That dont mean son left all the trash bars on the cutting room floor tho. We still get lightweight bars like “My wifey is a spice like Im David Beckham”… Really dog? Then son gotta hit us wit the myriad of quotes for the teenage girl Twitter bios n Facebook statuses n s---.

“They been sayin its love…but it isnt love is it? ”

“Toast to the days when they wasnt out to get me =(”

“Thoughts too deep to go work em out wit a therapist ;(”

“Need yall to kno I never needed none of yall n***as :[“

This is yall champion? Cmon son…



20. “Hotline Bling – Aint a lot that needs to be said bout this song yo. s--- was basically the 2015 “Fight the Power.” It was a sign of the times…n the times is wild f---in corny. We dont gotta get into how he jacked the whole song formula from D.R.A.M. n his “Cha Cha” joint. Ya boy Aubs coulda jumped on a remix like he did to that IDONTMINDMAKONNEN kid he juxed for a hit record or jus used the same beat…but he tried to be slick n basically snatched the whole idea n had it remade instead. Or you can listen to Drizzy’s own interpretation of that little swindle:

“You know, like in Jamaica, you’ll have a riddim and it’s like, everyone has to do a song on that. Imagine that in rap, or imagine that in R&B. Imagine if we got one beat and every single person—me, this guy, this guy, all these guys—had to do a song on that one beat. So sometimes I’ll pick a beat that’s a bit, like, sunnier, I guess is the word you used, than usual, and I just try my hand at it. And that’s kind of what ‘Hotline Bling’ was. And I loved it. It’s cool. I’ve been excited by that sort of creative process.”

Its actually jus called jumpin on the same beat bruh. Muthafuckas been doin it since back in the day. You aint did that tho. But you also happen to benefit from the fact that this generation could give two infinitesimal s----s what you do wrong b. You could walk out on stage witta live chicken shoved up ya a--- n set it on fire n you would probably gain like a thousand new fans doin it. But do ya thing son… Only other thing I wanna point out for the cheerleaders is that under the new RIAA rules all streams n downloads for Hotline Bling (which dropped in summer 2015) gon count towards his first week sales. So if homie happens to go 6x platinum in the first week…dont get gassed yo. 1,500 streams is now equivalent to 10 single-song sales or one album sale…n that little ditty happened to make some noise. Yall do the math…



Anyways this my final thoughts on VIEWS n this muthafucka Aubrey in general…. Drake seems to be stuck on Law 7 of 48 Laws of Power namsayin (let others do the work for you, but always take the credit). While yall think of Drake as a single entity…that muthafucka is nothin more than a product namsayin. He aint no different from any popstar diva. s--- is probably what lead him to start to believe his own myth…even more. We aint all dumb Drake. We aint all blind. We aint all sleep… Some of us is woke. By tryna follow the blueprint of his own most praised n glorified album Take CareAubrey lowkey proves to his naysayers that he ran outta his own ideas a long time ago. The Weeknd wasnt around to write half his album this time tho..so s--- was a little less potent on the sing songy side of things. If we keepin it a red 100 emoji…son has basically become a parody of his own self. His last couple solo projects seemed like a step in the right direction….regardless of how many muthafuckas helped him achieve that feat. On this s--- son jus seems lost b. This a little analogy for all my Game of Thrones heads…NWTS was when Theon Greyjoy went back to the Iron Islands. IYRTITL is when he took Winterfell. VIEWS is when Theon became Reek… If you dont watch the show you on ya own. Anyways…tryna recapture the enchanted fairytale magic of Take Care was only his first mistake here b. The one thing this s--- got in common wit Take Care is its softer than a blanket of marshmallows too. Thats where the similarities end really… s--- makes the last Adele album sound like NIGGAZ4LIFE. Dont help that the s--- is 20 tracks long…which is like watchin the end credits to Beaches 20x in a row n s---. I aint hatin tho. Ima still keep it a buck n give it that unbiased rating at the end of the day…

Aight peace

Ayo I give this s--- 1/2 a Zeus Slap outta 5




http://www.okayplayer.com/news/drake-views-big-ghost-album-review.html

 

May 4, 2016

Been a good million years since ive seen a new big ghost review

 

May 4, 2016

Always one of the better reads

http://www.okayplayer.com/news/drake-views-big-ghost-album-review.html

"But yo…yall hear that? Thats the sound of half the testosterone on earth evacuating the planet… Guess Drake done dropped a new album"

 

May 4, 2016

shameless bump

 

May 4, 2016

Brilliant as always.

 

May 4, 2016

 

May 4, 2016

PartyAcrossTheHallway

 

May 4, 2016

Honesty crying after just the intro

Fool said waveparasailer

 

May 4, 2016

I really wish this was actually Ghostface Killah.

 

May 4, 2016

Dude is a cornball but I agree with a lot in here, some of it was funny as well.

 

May 4, 2016

really? lol big ghost >>>

 

May 4, 2016

Just the pics on this are classic

 

May 5, 2016

"Only other thing I wanna point out for the cheerleaders is that under the new RIAA rules all streams n downloads for Hotline Bling (which dropped in summer 2015) gon count towards his first week sales. So if homie happens to go 6x platinum in the first week…dont get gassed yo. 1,500 streams is now equivalent to 10 single-song sales or one album sale…n that little ditty happened to make some noise. Yall do the math…"

 

May 5, 2016

my favorite ongoing theory is that Big Ghost is Childish Gambino

 

May 7, 2016

Not sure if anyone has already posted this. But this is one for the books.



http://www.okayplayer.com/news/drake-views-big-ghost-album-review.html

 

May 7, 2016

literally the third thread