Jun 15, 2015

Cover made by: Castle

LINK -

Lyrics -

Thanks for giving us a listen! We are working on a collab album. This song will NOT be on it BUT it will be on a different album a bunch of people are working on.

Anyways thank you! Seriously! We are trying to improve so every bit of constructive criticism or at least feedback helps! So please give some feedback!

 

Jun 15, 2015

hoping we get a 5 instead of a 3 this time.

 

Jun 15, 2015

btw this song will be on the HHS Album

 

Jun 15, 2015

You seemed to rush through your verse which didn't fit the beat all that well in my opinion. The mic quality or editing also brought it down a notch.

I do like your voice but you need to improve.

As for @Castle, still not feeling your delivery man. I know you're only 17 and your voice can only get better hopefully. I'm not sure what I can suggest to get you to improve because you didn't seem to rush through your verse like Tadpole but I dunno, maybe I just can't get past your voice for now. No hard feelings.

Who does the mixing for you guys? And both of y'all need better mics.

Just my 2c worth.

 

Jun 16, 2015

You guys should have included me

We won't stop
Until this song makes it to the top of the iTunes Store
Not until we are done f---ing every whor-
Not until these chicks are done dancing to this song on the floor
I see @Castle & @Tadpole
On their Apple iPhones picking up chicks numbers
d--- starting to hear rain and thunder
We leave the club to go get our grub on
They order the food while I go to the john
I get out I see the homies talking to big Sean
Tell him we love dark sky paradise
We give him our mixtape
A couple weeks go by and get a phone call
Big Sean's on the line
Telling us to meet him at his studio
We makes the beats and songs with him
He tells us he loves and wants to work with us again


Lol idk

 

Jun 16, 2015

Thanks for ur response! Yeah im trying to improve my voice lol but thatll happen with time :/

And I do the mixing... I know im not too good (although i have improved a lot since i started! haha) but i was hoping as we got better maybe we could find someone willing to mix for us :P

 

Jun 16, 2015

I don't generally work with many vocals, so I'm not the best at it, but I'm a decent enough producer that I should be able to help some if you'd like.

 

Jun 16, 2015

ur s--- was dope man. only suggestion is that u really cant rush ur delivery like that. like...you can up with good flows and decent melodies but were rushing it so you were slightly off beat here and there.

hook is cool too, has its moments (where you guys are kinda singing), and has moments were it sounds rough/rushed.

castles verse was alright, hes good when he gets laid back and melodic like around:

and if you say its not you lyin’
i aint tryin’ to impress you
its simple science I’m as defiant as mike tyson taking on one of my lions/lines
everywhere i turn, theirs a new enemy on the horizon


the kanye bitin with "gotcha" flow is cool...rest is alright. sometimes seems like its trying way to hard to be deep (ur verse too)

definitely way better than the other track

 

Jun 16, 2015

thanks for feedback. lmao i dont get why people dont get the "gotcha" thing!! its not kanye its from LUPE FIASCO d--- has no one heard Food & Liquor??? hahahaha

yeah ig we could be trying to go "too deep" but like.. were underground rappers barely anyone listens to us.. when i listen to someone like that i want them to offer something. like im not gonna listen to someone cus theyre spitting random bs like "smoke my kush all day" or something with a s-----y a--- mic. plus we want to have meaning in our music so ig thats why it could seem like that.

 

Jun 16, 2015

well yeah theres nothing wrong with that approach and its a good idea. you guys clearly have a focus/direction you're heading on and are already improving.

the writing has to be more purposeful to match the vibe ur going for tho. less random rhymes, more content. more control of the delivery so its actually confident and assertive but not rushed and off beat.

 

Jun 16, 2015

okay cool thanks for the feedback and advice bro! yeah in some parts we do go off beat. this was one of our early tracks and were still working. im sure as we go we will get better & these early tracks wont be used. hopefully we keep continuing to improve track by track