May 10, 2015

Was it really that unexpected? Or was your brother having any problem beforehand? I understand if you dont want to get anymore into this though, man. Its just a scary thought that something like this could happen so spontaneously.

 

May 10, 2015

I find that curiosity helps cull the more morose thoughts..the idea of wanting to take things one day at a time and see what happens rather than just pull the plug now. Even if you aren't excited about it, or it takes effort to just wake up every morning, having that inkling of curiosity seems to help keep things in perspective. Obviously some drugs help but Im not for abusing any substance.

 

May 10, 2015

I think its wrong, no matter how bad of a place you are in, there is always going to better days whether its next week for next year. A friend of my parents just killed himself yesterday, put a 30-06 right in his head. One of my really good friends last year killed himself last year, it was a s-----y time and i'm going to leave it at that because I still don't like to talk about it.

 

May 10, 2015

For me, it's more of being tired of being in the f---ing criminal justice system and not being able to find a job so that I can change my life. And feeling like I'll never be off of probation.

 

May 10, 2015

Got a f----- story... (It's a little personal - but, it was probably one of the most important points of my life and it taught me a lot, so i'll share.)
So a few years back I was pushing (I'll try keep this short and don't want to put too much detail here). While I was, almost every time I went to re-up, there was this guy there about 2 years younger than me. One day, the same guy came to re-up but he was with one of my mates so I was all "oh s--- you guys know each other!?" turns out this guy was a little bit of a recluse, but he occasionally hanged with a few of my mates in my close circle. So anyways, whenever I saw him re-up i'd always be like "hey wassup man" and s---. we weren't friends but we were acquainted.

Now fast-forward about a year later. Someone rats on me, so I get arrested and all that good s---, charged with like 8 things, facing possibility of jail time. It f----- me up, pretty sure what I felt at the time was depression (never really experienced it before so I dunno). I was barely eating/speaking/leaving the house for about a month after It happened (was out on bail etc). Anyways, one day, one of my mates mentioned to me that the guy I used to see when i re-up'd had also gotten arrested some how. so both of us are on literally the same charges, only difference was they found his money stash and took it. I'll never forget the day though when 7 of my mates rock up to my house out of the blue, all Shook as f---. (They're pretty tough c---- - to see them shook like that, was pretty striking). So of course I'm like "what's up?!" One of my mates is like "look bro... They found _____ hanging from a tree with a rope around his neck".

It f----- me up at first, just added to the bs I was already feeling. But the next day after reflecting on it, made me realize so many things and it has honestly taught me so many important life lessons. We were both in the exact same position nearly (albeit his parents were both in different parts of the country) but in the end I came out and he didn't. It made me stronger, it showed me that fearing the unknown (possibility of jail time) will only eat you up inside. It also made me a much more grateful person and I no longer feared/cared/gave a s--- about the case, because, I knew at the end of the day I still had my life. Old m8 taking his own life, was the biggest reminder of that.

RIP H.L.

 

May 10, 2015

A person's life is their own. Selfish, most definitely. But it's no ones business but their own.

Sadly, the family is left behind, sometimes children. Still, I'm not against it. Sometimes there just isn't a way out, but out.

 

May 10, 2015

Out of your control man. And that might be a sobering or unsettling depending on how you want to take it. I think it means that we should focus on what we can control and find satisfaction in that.

 

May 10, 2015

some people are ready to move on sooner than others because they haven't found their reason for being here in the present yet

that doesnt make it wrong.. what makes it wrong is that they don't think about the people in their life and how it effects them after leaving

they aren't the only ones that have part of them die

 

May 10, 2015

Well, it's tricky. On one hand he talked about it and threatened it a LOT. It was obviously on his mind but I mean you reach a point where we heard it so many times that it became the boy who cried wolf. I always thought it was for show but yeah, he talked about it often. About 3 months before the actual suicide though we had a conversation one Sunday morning. He came into my room and was like "You know how I've always threatened suicide? Well last night me and (the mother of his child) got into our ugliest fight yet. I took my gun, went out into the backyard and put it in my mouth. I was going to s---t myself but honestly Solo, it scared the f---ing s--- out of me and I threw the gun down. I now know that I'd never have the balls to ever do it." So, I mean.... like after our fight that night my other roommate asked me "You don't think he'd do anything stupid, do you?" I hesitated but I flashed back to that conversation and said no, I know he won't. I was wrong. I've read books on suicide since then and literally every single warning sign was there... but it's different when you're in the situation and it's extremely easy to Monday morning quarterback the situation after the fact. A few other things. The night before he did that he was worried about running out of cell phone data so he went and purchased more so he wasn't billed for going over his limit. We also went tanning that night and he bought a month pass. So on one hand yes it was very spontaneous. On the other, we should have known. Like I said it's tricky.


Edit- Another thing that I still think about is like two months before he shot himself we had some girls over. One of them started talking about how she was sad because of a friend of hers hung himself and my brother interjected "Who the f--- cares. Nobody likes or respects a quitter" and we laughed our a----s off. So, yeah...

 

May 10, 2015

For sure

 

May 10, 2015

Absolutely f----- man. Can't imagine what that would of been like for you, but, in some way I do feel your pain.
Another thing I forgot to mention in my last post here; Try your absolute hardest to use those negative experiences to further yourself in some way. It's the only real advice I could give about something that affects each person so differently.

 

May 10, 2015

I used to work internships at hospitals & at my school being a psych major and all. Depression and other mental illnesses are real and brutal conditions, trying to talk people out of it to tell you the truth were the most difficult challenges I've ever been presented with since people really were at points in their lives where they felt they had no more purpose to live. It's unfortunate really awful things in this world exist and no one ever deserves being in stressful and painful situations so I can understand why people do it, however there's just way too much to lose if you consider it not just for yourself but for the people that do love and care about you. Being to be able to identify & acknowledge the contemplation of suicide/depression saves lives, just listening and talking to people in general can make one h--- of a difference...my condolences to any one here that lost a loved one because of this.

 

May 10, 2015

There are times in our lives where we are in situations that we don't know what to do with our suffering. It's during those situations where we are the most vulnerable, violent and imminent to danger.

I had severe depression from late 2005 to early 2007. No one helped me climb out of that except myself, but my parents did provide me the time and space to eventually overcome it.

Jay Electronica said it best: "Love is the only thing that can save us all."

 

May 11, 2015

I don't necessarily think suicide is selfish. It's unfortunate and irrational, but understandable given how depressed you have to be for it to become an option.

 

May 11, 2015

My 1st cousin killed herself 15 years ago after exam results she had done really great in. She was only 15 too . She went out to the shed behind her house & doused herself in petrol & set fire to herself. She regretted it later & after in hospital she wanted to survive but the the burns were too severe & she died. I was very close to her as she use to babysit me alot as I was only 9 back then. I was in denial that it was suicide for a long time afterwards.

 

May 11, 2015

The selfishness is circumstantial depending on their belief. If the individual does commit suicide knowing he/she is leaving loved ones behind that have proven time and time again they support him/her, then yes it's selfish based on those circumstances.

If the individual commits suicide "thinking" he/she tried everything to overcome their situation, and has reached out or shown signs of asking for help with no one acknowledging him/her, then I could see it not being selfish.

 

May 11, 2015

At times, suicide sounds like a nice option for those who have the balls to go through with it. I can certainly understand the desire to end one's own life at times if you're really desperate for life to change and get better, and it looks like there's just no other way. I've contemplated it at regular intervals in my own life, obviously as a direct result of my constant and often crippling anxiety, insecurities and depression. I've even attempted it once when I was 10, but since it failed I've never had it in me to try again.

 

May 11, 2015

At the age of 10, that is no one's fault but your parents and/or the people that claim to love you to allow you to go that far off mentally without helping you or noticing something wrong.

I hope you have reached a point in your life now where you can recognize and conquer your sufferings and tribulations. If not, there's nothing wrong with asking for help.

 

May 11, 2015

Yeah it was the day she got the results. She had been praised so much after her results that she had in some way felt she had let her parents down.
It makes no sense to me tbh.

 

May 11, 2015

I see suicide as a selfish act...but I can also see why someone would think about it and even go through with it. Before I fell in love with music in eighth grade, I considered suicide a few times. Now I know I was probably just some over emotional f--- but still I know what it feels like to feel worthless and down and out. I really sympathize for people in that state.