Serious Getting involved in domestic abuse

Started by Mimi, Mar 5, 2016, in Life Add to Reading List

  1. Mimi
    Posts: 3,393
    Likes: 9,677
    Joined: May 19, 2015
    Location: the world

    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Mar 5, 2016
    So... chilling in my room, I started hearing dogs barking and the panicked, scared screams of a woman.
    I put my ear closer to my open window to then hear the angry shouts of a male and what sounded like a third male trying to calm the situation down.
    I have also seen one of my neighbours, that lived in an apartment across from mine, through their kitchen window, corner his missus in the kitchen, come right up in her face yelling at her, then hitting her.

    I done nothing in either situation.

    Has anybody been witness to random domestic abuse? Were you a terrible person (like myself) and ignore it or did you get involved? If you were ever in this situation what do you think you would do?
     
    May 7, 2025
  2. Cyreides
    Posts: 16,525
    Likes: 25,474
    Joined: Nov 23, 2014

    Cyreides gfy

    Mar 5, 2016
    I've never personally witnessed it, just seen the horrible outcome a couple of times. I don't know what I'd do in a situation like that, but I'd probably end up calling the cops.
     
    May 7, 2025
  3. Mimi
    Posts: 3,393
    Likes: 9,677
    Joined: May 19, 2015
    Location: the world

    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Mar 5, 2016
    The first time it happened (the apartment) I was really confused as to what to do. I didn't want to get myself in trouble as it was something that had happened inside their property. As soon as I saw it I told all my housemates, but they kind of brushed it off which made it easier to not get involved.

    In this situo, I dont own a phone (mobile or landline). I dont know where the noise was coming from and I havent heard again. I feel like it would be a waste of the police times with the lack of information I would be able to provide. It's a s-----y thing, it's not something you never want somebody to have to go through, alone, scared and helpless. I would like to hope that one of the other neighbours called but I know the likelihood of that is slim as I think everybody assumes 'someone else will do it'.
     
    May 7, 2025
  4. Cyreides
    Posts: 16,525
    Likes: 25,474
    Joined: Nov 23, 2014

    Cyreides gfy

    Mar 5, 2016
    Yeah it's a pretty s--- situation and without having a way to even call, it sucks even worse.

    Totally right about the 'someone else will do it' thing too, cause I feel like that's how most people would react in the situation, and that kind of s--- with domestic violence just gets worse and worse, and usually nothing gets done about it. The people in it are usually too scared to do something about it either until it's already gone too far.
     
    May 7, 2025
  5. Bojack
    Posts: 11,698
    Likes: 25,326
    Joined: Jan 19, 2015

    Mar 5, 2016
    Ive been in this situation once
    the man was a bit drunk and he was pushing the woman on the car he was tryin to grab her throat.
    i tried to stay calm and go in the way to see if i can stop him
    but this MFer turned and punched me in my face so i retaliate..
    I spend the night in the police station but at least the situation ended..


    I dont know what it is with women tho, why they stay close to such people..
    I mean ask for help if its hard.. someone will listen and respond.. We re not in medieval times
     
    May 7, 2025
  6. boyz n the suburbs
    Posts: 11,580
    Likes: 18,083
    Joined: Jul 7, 2015
    Location: Canada

    boyz n the suburbs In my city, I'm a young God

    Mar 5, 2016
    I've seen it more than a dozen times. I was fairly young so there wasn't much I could do, which is an awful feeling.
    It doesn't make much sense, but you keep hoping that person will change and everything will be good again.
     
    May 7, 2025
  7. Mimi
    Posts: 3,393
    Likes: 9,677
    Joined: May 19, 2015
    Location: the world

    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Mar 5, 2016
    Yep, I'm feeling a bit guilty and sad tbh I've known people very close to me who have gone through this and the kind of courage it takes to leave. To not help feels like you're excusing the abuser. But on the flip side, what if you do call, police knock on their door to report that they had been called and they want to make sure everything is okay. And then leaves because everything is settled and then the abuser goes on to abuse her more for making noise that resulted in attention?

    f--- man. I dont really know what to say because it's a s--- fact of life that people go through it and that some people are willing to harm others, and gain control of them through fear.
     
    May 7, 2025
  8. Mimi
    Posts: 3,393
    Likes: 9,677
    Joined: May 19, 2015
    Location: the world

    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Mar 5, 2016
    On her behalf, thank you for stepping in.

    Did anything happen to the guy do you know? Did he get arrested or anything? It really sucks for you to try to do a good deed for it to turn around like that.

    If I ever saw something like this in a public place I'm not sure what I would do, I would want to step in, obviously, but at the same if it was a really big dude I would be extremely worried for my own well being. But again, if out in public there would be more people to alert to get help from, whether borrowing a phone, finding a public one or popping into a store.
     
    May 7, 2025
  9. Zep
    Posts: 5,705
    Likes: 7,037
    Joined: Dec 22, 2014

    Zep Certified Feminist

    Mar 5, 2016
    In


    Just mind your own business tbh no need to get involved
    Also @Mano your thoughts ?
     
    #9
    0 0
    May 7, 2025
  10. Mimi
    Posts: 3,393
    Likes: 9,677
    Joined: May 19, 2015
    Location: the world

    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Mar 5, 2016
    I hope the people that you witnessed this to got out of their situation and are doing better, definitely not a nice thing to see when all you can do is watch by helplessly.
     
    May 7, 2025
  11. Bojack
    Posts: 11,698
    Likes: 25,326
    Joined: Jan 19, 2015

    Mar 5, 2016
    we both got arrested but they let me go cause he was drunk and this girl's testimony said
    that i did nothing wrong and he hit me first i think..
    i dunno what happened with them tho.. I really hoped she wasnt scared enough to hide whats happening
     
    May 7, 2025
  12. Mimi
    Posts: 3,393
    Likes: 9,677
    Joined: May 19, 2015
    Location: the world

    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Mar 5, 2016
    Oh, well that's lucky you got released!
    And me too, especially if they were in a relationship or something, I'm sure she would want to lessen the situation to not anger her partner more =(
     
    May 7, 2025
  13. Jakey
    Posts: 11,334
    Likes: 29,532
    Joined: Feb 6, 2015

    Jakey You Reckon

    Mar 5, 2016
    There's definitely been a few in town recently, close to the places I go out but I haven't seem to catch any yet.

    However, when I was younger and my family went on a holiday in Spain, everyone was asleep but I heard some loud noises outside. A woman screaming, a man shouting and a lot of running. Moments later it all stopped and she started crying for like 10 mins. Every noise was just horrific... :emoji_frowning: I didn't do anything, I was 15 at the time and was about 4 stories high. Pretty much sat in bed and freaked the f--- out.
     
    May 7, 2025
  14. Mimi
    Posts: 3,393
    Likes: 9,677
    Joined: May 19, 2015
    Location: the world

    Mimi the art of doing nothing

    Mar 5, 2016
    Sorry that you had to hear that, especially on holiday. Enjoy your vaca, yay! Did anyone wake up or were you by yourself in it?
    I really hope you didn't hear too many graphic things, punches ect. It is haunting.
     
    #14
    1
    Jakey likes this.
    1
    Jakey likes this.
    May 7, 2025
  15. Jakey
    Posts: 11,334
    Likes: 29,532
    Joined: Feb 6, 2015

    Jakey You Reckon

    Mar 5, 2016
    It didn't ruin the holiday, had a great time! But it was just difficult to listen to. None of my family heard it which was strange considering how loud it was. I was unsure what was going on at the time and still am. :emoji_fearful:
     
    #15
    2
    Ordinary Joel and Mimi like this.
    2
    Ordinary Joel and Mimi like this.
    May 7, 2025
  16. Mano
    Posts: 5,965
    Likes: 16,050
    Joined: Feb 15, 2011

    Mar 5, 2016
    Why you tagging me, cracker? :ummmm:
     
    #16
    3
    Mimi, Ordinary Joel and Amarett like this.
    3
    Mimi, Ordinary Joel and Amarett like this.
    May 7, 2025
  17. WPG
    Posts: 11,861
    Likes: 22,506
    Joined: Feb 15, 2011

    WPG sxn80 Rory Gilmore

    Mar 5, 2016
    the only time i've called the cops (aside from a car accident) was on a couple in my building when i lived in the valley. guy was screaming, she was crying, someone (i assume him) was throwing s---.
     
    #17
    3
    Mimi, Ordinary Joel and Enigma like this.
    3
    Mimi, Ordinary Joel and Enigma like this.
    May 7, 2025
  18. Zep
    Posts: 5,705
    Likes: 7,037
    Joined: Dec 22, 2014

    Zep Certified Feminist

    Mar 5, 2016
    Idk have u ever had a neighbor call the police on you or report anything about how you treat your wife?
     
    #18
    0 0
    May 7, 2025
  19. K9l
    Posts: 2,063
    Likes: 3,632
    Joined: Dec 14, 2015

    K9l Colder than a polar bear's toenails

    Mar 5, 2016
    id just mind my own business unless it was against kids tbh
     
    #19
    0 0
    May 7, 2025
  20. Mano
    Posts: 5,965
    Likes: 16,050
    Joined: Feb 15, 2011

    Mar 5, 2016
    People call the police for not beating women? Ireland backwards as f---
     
    #20
    3
    Amarett, Mimi and Ordinary Joel like this.
    3
    Amarett, Mimi and Ordinary Joel like this.
    May 7, 2025