Apr 6, 2017 go to the club one night and start talking to female. talking turns to drinking, drinking turns to talking in close quarters, which leads to extra curricular. but the more comfortable we get, the more we drinking now we on the dance floor, and i'm at the point where i'm too drunk to have any concern for my surroundings or who is looking. we look like rihanna and drake in the work video 2am hits, club is closing and so i grab her outside the club and ask her what she's tryna get in to. i 100 have henny d-ck but hennything is possible so i'm trying dive between her legs like: she agrees to go home with me, so we walking to my whip and she starts insisting that she drives because i'm 'more drunk'. real talk, i'm faded so i reluctantly, but responsibly give her the keys. problem is she's drunk too, so it wasn't even responsible, but mans was fryyyy so it seemed like a good idea. b---- hops a curb on a right turn and sirens flash behind us. she starts panicking because we both drunk and i had open liquor in the car from the pre-drink and i decided to pour myself a night cap for the drive home since i wasn't driving anyways. but my fight or flight kicks in, i spill the drink on the floor mats, and hide the bottle under my seats. i look at her dead in the face and i tell her: she didn't. she didn't over come it. she got arrested for a DUI, and my car got impounded since i couldn't drive it home. walked home and passed out, picked up the car in the morning. i do not know this females name, i do not know if she made it out of jail, i do not know if she got charged, i do not know if she got a criminal record. RIP to that female, i went back to the club the next night for a friend's birthday. moral of the story is
Apr 6, 2017 "i do not know this females name, i do not know if she made it out of jail, i do not know if she got charged, i do not know if she got a criminal record." reminds me of "i did not have sexual intercourse with that women"
Apr 6, 2017 for the rest of her life, she just gonna scream ur name in anguish right before she falls asleep
Apr 6, 2017 she don't even know it, i never give my real name out at the club because my government name is HASMAN so it might as well be MUHAMMAD because girls think i'm a terrorist as soon as i tell them then i never get to smash i might have been pablo that night, i might have been miguel. i usually pick exotic names got my spanish ting convinced that i know spanish
Apr 6, 2017 guaranteed pato the name i'ma use next, at least one pato in this world will have smashed
Apr 6, 2017 i got another story about how i beat a DUI after getting pulled over and breathalyzed but i'll save that for another thread, it's more serious than comedic anyways.
Apr 6, 2017 b---- ever tells me I'm "more drunk" than her I'll slap the s--- out her and steal her f---ing car
Apr 6, 2017 This a major key real talk all u gotta do with these white broads is call em mami every couple sentences and be slightly brown they think they gettin sum exotic latin d-ck
Apr 6, 2017 Yea support a dude that let's women drive drunk Also possibly ruins their life cause he can't handle his liquor and or take charge This man is Drake in the flesh
Apr 6, 2017 Think i already told the story bout the broad that i got f----- up wit once at the bar and tried to smash but i ended up whiskey dickin and she threw up on my fresh j's after i drover her dumbass home
