Feb 1, 2017 Sexually assaulted, molested, r---d, etc., whatever you want to call what happened... I've been wanting to make this thread for awhile but I keep forgetting/procrastinating when I remember. Anyway, thread idea came to mind because I've sort've been in a situation before where some s--- went down that absolutely should not have, and it's something I've never really told anyone about. FAIR WARNING: this is rly personal s---, and I'm probably way over-sharing here: I was in a really bad spot a couple years ago (this all happened in Feb of 2015). My dad had kicked me out of his house at 6AM the day it happened, and I was now homeless, and walking around in the dead of winter, with 2 feet of snow on the ground, carrying around a duffel bag full of my clothes in a town I didn't know and where I also didn't know anyone except a couple people I'd talked to online. I was freaking out, and had no idea what to do or where to go, so I googled and found a couple homeless shelters, but one was closed at the time and the other wouldn't take me in because of some bs about me not being a resident in the city long enough. So I was pretty screwed. I walked until like 2 or 3 in the afternoon, trying desperately to get ahold of someone on my phone that could come get me or something. So I messaged this one guy I'd been talking to for a couple weeks on a dating app and asked if he could come pick me up so I could try and get out of the cold for at least a minute. He agrees, and finally comes to get me and takes me back to his apartment where he and his boyfriend lived. He lets me use his shower and throws my clothes in the dryer and gives me something else to wear while I wait on those, since they were soaked from being outside all morning/afternoon. Him, his boyfriend and I proceed to talk about things, and then his boyfriend leaves to go to work. Now, a little backstory on this guy, we'd talked online and I'd gotten to know a little bit about him, and while I initially was interested in something more than just friends, I turned anything like that down once he told me he had a boyfriend, though he was really persistent about it before he finally let us fooling around go. Back to the story, once his boyfriend leaves, he can tell I'm still reaaaally f---ing upset and freaking out. I couldn't stop shaking, either from the cold or my anxiety or both, it wouldn't f---ing stop. So he tried to comfort me and so we talked and he offered some ideas on what to do, which helped slightly. All was well and good at that point. And then he starts getting a little too close, which I don't even really think I thought much about until after it all happened. But then it escalates, and he's rubbing my back and shoulders, and me being the naive person I am with guys, I think nothing of that either, though I'm starting to get really uncomfortable. Then he asks me to take my shirt off so he can give me a real massage. Now, seriously, I cannot stress this enough, I had made it very f---ing clear I didn't want to fool around with him before we actually met, and his boyfriend literally just left for work like a half hour ago at this point, and I'm in the middle of a shitstorm with my life because I'm f---ing homeless in a strange place -as of that very morning- and still in shock over it all. And it's just in that moment that it's now dawning on me what he's doing, and he's being extremely persistent about it even though it was obvious I was uncomfortable. So I feel like in that moment, like, s---, if I don't let him do what he wants, is he gonna kick me back out into the cold? Was this the only reason he even picked me up in the first place? What am I suppose to do right now when I've already told I didn't want to do anything? And eventually, I talk myself down and just convince myself that it's nothing more than a massage, and he's just being nice because I'm freaking out and worrying up a storm and shaking... and so he takes my shirt off and sets me in front of him on the couch and goes to work on my back. Then he gets oil out to rub my back with, which was weird. And then after that, he gets me laying down on my back on the couch so he could massage my chest... I'm still visibly uncomfortable during all of this, and I tell him I don't really think we should do this, but he insists. And then he wants to do my legs, and so my pants come off. So to recap, I'm just laying in this guy I barely knows apartment, laying on my back on his couch in my underwear covered in massage oil after his boyfriend just left, and all less than 12 hours after I became homeless and walked around in snow all day, and I'm shaking and worried and don't want to do anything with him, and he just keeps putting the moves on more and more. Eventually he just leads a silent shaking me into his room and picks me up and puts me on his bed to "cuddle" because I'm so cold. But then he's getting handsy, and asks if he can see it. I tell him again, I really don't want to do anything and we shouldn't anyways because you have a f---ing boyfriend ffs... but he just insists and I ended up giving in and one thing lead to another and yeah, we ended up fooling around. After all is said and done, I'm shaking more than ever and still super anxious about everything, and so he helps me figure out a semi-plan after all for what I'm going to do and he drops me off where I needed to be. And I didn't really think about it much that day, because honestly I had enough going on, and I think I was just trying to not think about it tbh. But it's coming to mind a lot lately and I feel guilty and bad for the whole thing happened, like it was all my fault and s---. And I helped him cheat and blah blah more self loathing bs. And I also realized that since that day, when I'm nervous I f---ing shake now, and I'm especially antsy with guys/dating, and I really shy away from attempts at fooling around when I'm dating someone. I just, feel uncomfortable with the idea of sex now for the most part, like I don't trust guys enough now to do anything with them unless I really really get to know them and like them THAT much, which is extremely rare. But yeah, thanks for reading my rambling sob story, I just wanted to talk to someone about this somehow. You can share you stories if you want, Idk how many of you will actually have one though but yeah.
Feb 1, 2017 This might sound f----- up but I was molested by my babysitter when I was 8. Not complaining though since I had a kiddish crush on her and sort of enjoyed it, but I guess when I think about it I was taken advantage of
Feb 1, 2017 I read your story btw and I'm very sorry about what happened to you and how things got to that point, unfortunately there's just a lot of untrustworthy people who will deceive you to get off. Seems like this guy didn't even give a s--- that he had a s/o already but he seems to be a sex addict who needs serious help and has a destructive personality.
Feb 1, 2017 Yes I was sexually assaulted back in my senior year of highschool by a ugly girl. I would have never f----- her if I were sober. I had taken a lot of Xanax that night and I woke up the next morning with a nut filled condom on my d-ck and this naked chick beside me. A lot of people made fun of me because of it but that b---- took advantage of me when I was f----- and didn't comprehend what was going on
Feb 1, 2017 Sounded kinda cute at the start until s--- started, not your fault though the guy created the situation and he's the one in a relationship you had no other options really and I doubt they're still together if he's that careless.
Feb 1, 2017 Wow you're actually a fa---- All this time I thought it was just a troll gimmick you got me good
Feb 1, 2017 I'm just mad I got trolled, all this time i was thinking Gay people don't exist and it just a gimmick
Feb 1, 2017 I'm not sure if talking about something this personal on a forum is really a good idea. A therapist or some of your closest confidantes would be better but that's just me I guess. But everyone has different types of outlets so I dunno.
Feb 1, 2017 Go and find a therapist mate. I think it'd be beneficial. Unless paying them is a problem?
