Feb 25, 2015 First off let me start by saying I've been an eminem fan since he went mainstream with the SSLP but I've never been a "stan" of his. Jadakiss, Styles P & DMX were always my favorites. I have been a long time lurker on here and have seen how much hate the "new" Eminem gets on here (and other places) and I wanted to give a different opinion on how amazing and impactful in my life Eminem has been since he dropped Relapse up until his current work. First of all a little bit about me. I am a 28 year old male - God gave me the gift of genetics, a strong desire to stay committed to stay physically active & work hard to achieve personal body building goals; and most of all the passion for pro wrestling. After high school I started working with local wrestling promotions for $20-$30 a night. After a few years of busting my a--- and paying my dues for those small local federations I was offered a contract by a company called Ring of Honor. It's far from Vince McMahon's WWE but it is the 3rd-4th biggest wrestling company in the United States. Guys like C.M. Punk and Daniel Bryan have been discovered from busting their a--- with R.O.H. But anyways - I ended up getting bit by the injury bug during my training with R.O.H. and had to have 4 surgeries in just over two years the most intense one being lateral ankle stabilization and tendon repair of my right ankle/foot which is about a 6 month recovery. Long story short my wrestling career was over before it ever began as I never even got to wrestle a televised bout for R.O.H. And you can probably guess what came next if you connect the dots - after so many surgeries and suffering from depression from my dream being taken away from me I was quickly addicted to pain killers. A few 10mg percs a day turned into a dozen a day, which turned into 20+ a day easy after about 6 months of being a full blown addict. And after not being able to find pain killers one night but being able to find coke I turned to going through an eight ball every 2 or three days on top of whatever pain killers I could get. When neither coke or pills were available and heroin was....well you get the point. I came to a point where I was doing so much cocaine I would steal my sister's ambien and take three or four of those just to get a few hours sleep at night. Drugs were the first thing I did when I woke up and the last thing I did before I went to bed. In one 24 hour peroid I did about 75% of an eight ball ($175) a dozen perc 10s ($96) and four and a half ambien. At the height of my addiction I was spending $150 a day easy. After 2+ years of this non stop (when an addict is almost out his drug of choice and knows withdraw is around the corner he/she will do anything to get what they need) I started to have thoughts of suicide almost every day. I overdosed twice and after the second time was mandatory sent to a mental health institute because doctors thought I was trying to k--- myself (I actually wasn't just trying to get messed up) and I ended up becoming the black sheep of the family. One day I decided enough was enough and I quit my job, ditched my phone and stayed at my sisters house to fully detox and go through a very intense withdraw. I made my mind up I would either get better or just check out of this world if I couldn't. Well it took 3 very, very, very long and miserable months but I finally started to feel "normal" again. And as corny as it sounds...Eminem actually helped me out a lot. This was the peroid between recovery and MMLP2. I had listened to both relapse and recovery when they first dropped but kinda forgot about them for the most part at this point in time (I got clean December 16th 2012.) One night in particular maybe two or three weeks into getting clean I remembered all the songs on Em's last two albums about getting clean. I had refrained from listing to the L.O.X., DMX, ect. because of the drug references. This night in particular was very hard on me physically and emotionally. My mind was so f----- I couldn't concentrate on anything...my body ached I had the chills, restless legs, ect....I got my laptop and played recovery. Em's songs on recovery and VERY powerful to somebody like me (and there are millions of people in my shoes.) I just played the album from start to finish and "Talkin 2 Myself" was the first song I listened to that really started to tug at my heart. Let's start with the chorus on that song. "Can anybody here me...I feels like I'm talking to myself...no one seems to know my struggles...it feels like I'm going insane." Most drug addicts - myself included live "secret" lives and don't tell anyone about our addiction but wish those close to us could see it and call us on our bs and get us the help we so desperately need. Em comes in with "Is there anyone out there who feels the way I feel somebody tell me so I know I'm not the only one" They both hit the f---ing nail on the head here. "Bottoms up on the pill bottle, maybe I'll hit my bottom tomorrow" almost had me in tears before he comes back in the next first, sounding confident as f--- saying "so I picked myself up off the ground and swam before I drowned, hit my bottom so hard I bounced twice, this time it's different no more f---in around" this sent chills down my spine. I felt like I hit my rock bottom hard too and wanted to give up just as I was starting to move in the right direction...these words inspired me to not relapse that night. I was also starting to feel confident that I could do this and when my withdraw went away I would be a new man. Next I listened to "Going through Changes" and my God that song had me in tears. Eminem talks contemplating suicide; something I thought of basically every night. Em admits he can't overcome his demons by himself, he is too weak. Even basically says he would of given up and checked out if it wasn't for Haile. Then I listened to "Not Afraid" a lot of people hate on that song but to hear somebody so confident about overcoming such a s-----y thing - it really gave my confidence I could do the same thing. Quit this s--- for good and never look back. "De ja Vu" might of been the only song to get more of an emotion out of me then Going through Changes. At the darkest place in my life, a place I didn't know I would ever get out of, Eminem really helped me. And yeah that probably sounds corny as f---. But I will say this - I have been clean for 26 months now and I'm not sure I would be typing that right now if I couldn't throw on some Eminem songs on to help me get through the nights where that devil was on my shoulder and relapsing was calling my name hard. The new Eminem inspires me. His words and lyrics are beyond powerful to me. Even some his songs that aren't necessarily just about overcoming drug use inspire the h--- out of me when I am feeling down (such as Spacebound, Beautiful, Beautiful Pain, Guts over Fear.) As much as I love anything the L.O.X. or DMX touch and the "old" Eminem nothing will ever inspire me and keep me motivated in this life long battle I am in (just because I am 2 years clean dosen't mean I am not an addict. I'll still be an addict 20 years from now. That s--- dosen't leave your brain.) I am engaged now to a beautiful women and have a baby on the way - I'll be a father in about six months. Life is great now I am happy to say. But I will never forget just a short period of time ago all the times I was laying in my bed going through severe withdraw, c--- sucker devil in my ear telling me "its ok to just get a few percs it will make this pain go away" laying there thinking this is so much bigger then I am, I can't do this it is too hard I should just check out and end all this bs...and then throwing on an em record like going through changes, de ja vu or not afraid...and knowing I can do this. h--- without those records I don't know what my life would be lilke now - or if I would ever be alive to type this. I'd like to think I would of been strong enough...but who knows? This new eminem that everybody is quick to hate the living s--- out of helped change my life for the better and for that I'll always be grateful. Thank you Marshall.
Feb 25, 2015 Wow you really poured your heart out on your first post. Yeah Recovery for me was a good album. Could have been great if Eminem's flow was better on it & if the production & mixing of the album was better.
Feb 25, 2015 I did, and probably went into too much details, but I just wanted to give the opinion of how someone like me views the new Em & is thankful for what he brings to the table.
Feb 25, 2015 Admittedly i dont like current em as much as i wished i did, But im glad you found some comfort in his music, As somewhat of a past addict i understand the importance of that...
Feb 25, 2015 Could u or Eminem drink a little or smoke some weed at all? Or I guess u would have to stay away from that s--- altogether. I think Eminem needs recreational drugs like between 99-02 not painkillers & sleeping pills.
Feb 25, 2015 Any drug can effect and distort your judgement In other words, even a little bit of somewhat 'harmless' alcohol can cause a full blown relapse.... Its complicated
Feb 25, 2015 I've only smoked weed a few times in my life and it was never a problem for me but the safest bet for me and I would think em would feel the same way is to stay away from that stuff all together. If I smoked weed tonight my guess is I would enjoy the high and it would be a constant mind f--- for me the next several weeks to want to get buzzed again and be in "a different world" and eventually get into some good stuff again. God willing I am just going to avoid everything.
Feb 25, 2015 I like the good stuff new Em has released possibly more than his older stuff. There just isn't as much. So overall, I can't really agree.
Feb 25, 2015 Props for kicking the addiction man But you do know that you wouldve felt this way about which ever artist ended up helping you get through rehab right? Like what? Lol
Feb 25, 2015 Let me break it down for you. 1. Em doesn't release good music as consistently anymore. 2. But the rare good stuff he releases these days I tend to rate higher than most of his older stuff. 3. Old Em was more consistent, so I can't agree to prefer new Em.
