Jun 1, 2015

Today I was walking back to school from sports and a bird sh---ed on me. At first I was like wtf was that? A fly? But then i looked at my arm and it was a lil black s---. Thank god nobody saw that. It would have been embarrassing. I mean what was the chance of it hitting me. There were like 2 guys next to me and like 3 in front of me. Also, I was under trees. That bird definitely was aiming at me. K, back to s---. At first I didn't know what to do. I touched it and it was soft. I looked in my pocked (just realized that I put my s-----y hand in my pocket) and found some gum paper (thank god) I used it to take off the s--- and I placed it in my pocket (yes, the s-----y paper). Then I realized that there is a s--- in my pocket. I looked around if there are no teachers and dropped it. Then I had no nothing to wipe the rest of the s--- off. I didn't ask anyone for paper because it was embarrassing. Guess what I did... I wiped it on my jeans. Couldn't wipe it at first try so I tried multiple times. Also I didn't have the time to wash my hands. Still had 2 lessons (also was thirsty, had to go to the shop). I had a s--- on my hands for like 3 hours. Thank god It stopped burning after 10 minutes. Now there are little chunks of invisible s--- on two of my notebooks. This is the second time a bird s----s on me in the last 6 months. First time was when i was chilling outside while waiting for lesson to start. Now I have to wash my pants and jacket.

Now, after writing this story, I've realized that the s--- could have flied in my mouth or in my eye. TBH, I was kinda lucky.

Have you ever been shat on by a bird? Please share your stories. Also give suggestions to avoid bird s----s flying at you.

Sorry, I had to get this off my chest.

P.S English is not my first language, so sorry for grammar mistakes.
gg would wipe again #bestfirstthread

 

Jun 1, 2015

They s--- on me like Im the most luxurious toilet

 

Jun 1, 2015

Nah, but I know somebody who looked out of the window and I guess u can imagine what happened lmao

 

Jun 1, 2015

s--- on me
Deez n----s tryna s--- on me

 

Jun 1, 2015

all of you joking but im for realz afraid to go outside

 

Jun 1, 2015

just wear hats then lmao

 

Jun 1, 2015

my uncle made a stevie wonder laugh and a bird sh---ed in his mouth.

 

Jun 1, 2015

wearing a hat in summer is kinda stupid

 

Jun 1, 2015

 

Jun 1, 2015

 

Jun 1, 2015

Em would never s--- on me cuz he knows how it feels.
"I used to think I had bad luck, but I wasn't superstitious
Till one day I grew suspicious, when I stepped on a crack on Aunt Edna's stoop
And got pooped on by a group of stupid pigeons"

 

Jun 1, 2015

jup on the shoulder

 

Jun 1, 2015

Yes a bird has sh*tted on me before. My ex brozoned me while we were dating. Not cool.
But a bird itself never.

 

Jun 1, 2015

Yes, once when I was like 13 years old maybe, I was looking through the balcony window and a pigeon s--- landed on my fingers, so I was like wtf eww and washed it straight away & once during the 9th grade, after the recess was over, the recess court gets usually empty because everyone is on their way back to class so them birds will start invading the ground to pick up whatever they can and as I was walking back, a bird s--- landed on my shirt. I panicked & rushed to the toilet before anyone could notice to try to clean it. Luckily for me, nobody knew.

 

Jun 1, 2015

birds are assholes

 

Jun 1, 2015

 

Jun 1, 2015

ffs my headphones broke, this day can't get any worse, how the f--- am I gonna listen to Phenomenal?

 

Jun 1, 2015

Yeah only one time, after I stepped on a crack on my Aunt Edna's stoop and got pooped on by a group of stupid pigeons

 

Jun 1, 2015

I have two Macaws at my house, have to clean bird s--- every week..

 

Jun 1, 2015

i attract leaks